Finding Family
by SaltRoundsAndHolyWater
Summary: Life used to be good, I used to have a family. A mother and a father, a baby sister and a baby brother. We lived in a small Georgia town and went to church every Sunday just like all the other families. My mother used to always tell me angels were watching over me and now looking back I wonder if deep down somewhere she knew. I wondered if she knew what I was or what I would become
1. Chapter 1

Running.

That's all I ever did it seemed like.

Life used to be good, I used to have a family. A mother and a father, a baby sister and a baby brother. We lived in a small Georgia town and went to church every Sunday just like all the other families.

My mother used to always tell me angels were watching over me and now looking back I wonder if deep down somewhere she knew. I wondered if she knew what I was or what I would become.

With a sigh I drug my bloodied body into my hotel room and shuffled into the bathroom. My black t-shirt was ripped to shreds and my jeans soaked in blood that wasn't mine.

I stared at my reflection, my gazing fixing on the silver wing charm around my neck. After the accidents I went to my uncles home in North Dakota where he introduced me to Sam and Dean Winchester. They were my family and I can't tell you how many times we've died protecting each other.

I can still here Dean screaming out Sam's name as he fell to the ground after that Talley kid stabbed him in the back. I can still hear him screaming to this day. I can still smell the blood from when Dean was ripped apart by the hellhounds a year later after selling his soul to save Sam. The nightmares have yet to stop from that day. It only got worse after that, especially when Castiel rescued Dean from hell.

I never told them what I was and I have no intentions of doing so. But when Cas showed up it complicated things. See, Cas was around a lot when I was growing up but he mostly hid in my guardians shadows. Honestly I don't think he knew how to handle me. I cared about him sure but it wasn't until he left his vessel that I found out just how much he cared about me.

I think he eventually figured it out but he was on a short leash with Heaven and the last thing he needed to do was fall in love with me. Angels were already on strict orders to kill me if they ever found me and the only thing protecting me was my guardian Gabriel.

After Gabe died it was absolute chaos. I found myself in a tug or war between Lucifer and Michael for unknown reason, the leviathan had taken over and before it was all said and done we would loose Bobby, Dean, and Cas to the damn things. Now the only thing I had left of him was the pendant he had made for me.

After the Leviathan Sam found a girl and last I heard he was somewhere in Texas. I tried calling him but none of his phones were turned on and the GPS had been turned off. I tried everything I could to get into Purgatory but everyone was too afraid to help me. They were too afraid of what Michael or Lucifer would do to them if they helped me.

I peeled my clothes off and rinsed the blood and grime away from my body and tended to my wounds. I threw on a tank top and a pair of sweat pants and collapsed onto the bed. I stretched out my sore wings and let them hang limp over the edge of the bed. For a moment it was completely silent, no screams, no pleas, no Enochian being screamed inside my head, just silence.

A knock at the door would change all that.

I shoved myself up muttering curses under my breath as I grabbed my angel blade from my duffel and threw the door open.

"What the hell do you-oh my god."


	2. Chapter 2

I can remember the day Gabe sat down and told me what I was. It was the first and only time I had ever seen the trickster so _serious _and honestly I was scared of what he had to say. My mom had been gone for almost a week and she hadn't called and I was terrified Gabe was going to tell me that I had lost the only parent I had left. Instead he explained to me why I was different, why I could see and hear things that no one else could. He said I was special. He said God had big plans for me.

Bullshit.

I learned on my own that there was no such thing as God.

* * *

"Ma'am you need to stay here." The male nurse held me back as they rolled his broken body into the ER. "No! I have to go with him! I can't..I can't leave him!" I ran a bloody hand through my hair as more people rushed in through the double doors. My mother had been a nurse at one point in her life and there were many occasions that her skills had came in handy. She taught me as much as she could before the accident but I knew there was nothing I could do to fix him.

He was dying.

* * *

It had been almost a week. After a few hours of searching I had found Sam and a post purgatory Dean at a motel in Salina, Kansas. I called them and told them about Cas' condition and they promised they would be there as soon as they could. That had been almost two days ago.

I had only left his side long enough to change my clothes and take a shower. I found a small amount of comfort in the fact that there were no demons or angels in the hospital but that didn't mean they weren't still looking for us. Someone had rescued Cas from Purgatory and taken almost all of his grace.

I sat beside him holding his hand and fighting back the tears trying to stay strong for the both of us. I managed to do this for 4 days.

On the fifth day, I cried.

I was tired of my life. I was tired of always loosing people I loved. It wasn't fair for me or Sam or Dean. We had all lost so much, too much, but we kept going because we had too and _it just wasn't fair._ We sacrificed ourselves over and over to protect the people we loved but it never lasted for long. Something else always came along and always threatened to tear everything apart.

Sure we had the demon tablet and maybe we could slam the gates of hell but how long until something else came up? The angels would still want me dead and I would have to keep hunting but how long before they targeted Sam and Dean? It would never truly be over no matter how much we fought. There would still be werewolves and vamps and skin walkers and someone would still need to hunt them. _It would never be over. _

But maybe I could end it. I was an abomination after all.

I was wanted by heaven and according the Chuck I wasn't even supposed to be alive. I was never meant to live, I was never supposed to be in the books yet I wiggled my way in and made a name for myself. Even Gabriel said I wasn't supposed to live. I was supposed to be born and die within the hour. But I didn't.

I wanted to believe that my father was just a common angel who was already dead but I knew deep down that if that were true heaven wouldn't be making such a huge fuss about me when there are more important things going on. I wanted to believe that they just wanted me dead because I was an abomination but I knew that was the truth.

I had something that made angels and demons want me and I was going to find out exactly just what that was.

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**Hey guys! I want to thank you all for reading my story and I would love to get some feedback on what you think so I know what I can do to make it a better story!**


	3. Chapter 3

The two brothers sat in silence as they took in everything I had told them. They had come in earlier that morning demanding to know if it was true, if I really was a nephilim. They said Crowley had decided to tell them about my 'dirty little secret' as The King of Hell had called it.

I told them that I was in fact a nephilim and I told them that Gabe and Cas had been my guardians. I told them that I didn't know who my father was or why I was being hunted and they seemed okay with my answers for the time being. I just hoped they didn't want to go into more detail later.

"When he showed up he filled my mind with all these visions, kind of like a broken up film. Most of them didn't make sense and most of the places I didn't recognize but I have a pretty good idea of who has his grace. It's just a matter of tracking her down." I explained. "So you know who this angel is?" Sam asked. His cheeks were still red from where I had punched him about an hour ago. I punched him once for just being a complete and total idiot, once for giving up, and once for never calling me.

"Her name is Naomi. She's the head of 'intelligence' upstairs. She says she gets her commands from a higher rank but that's bullshit. As of now she's the_ only_ high-ranking angel in heaven." Images of her holding a drill above Cas' eye filled my mind and I couldn't help but grimace at what that must've felt like.

"So how do we get her to give Cas his grace back?" Dean asked, never taking his eyes off the broken body in front of him. "I'll have to go to heaven and get it myself." "What?" Both brothers said at the same time. "Look we could try to summon her but do you really think she's just going to be carrying his grace around? Heaven wants me so they can come and get me but I wont go with them until they give him his grace back."

"Are you insane! How are you going to get out?" I looked at Sam and smiled. "Well for starters I wont give up trying to find a way out," Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. "and besides Cas is more important to you now than I am. I'll only be holding you back." "Spencer its suicide."

"Maybe it is Dean but it's the truth. If I don't make it out then I don't make it out. If sacrificing myself means getting Castiel better than I'm all for it I've served my purpose down here, I've helped you get this far and I know once I'm gone you'll be able to finish it."

"Spence, Cas will never forgive us if we let you go." Sam tried. "He will," I looked at the body beside me and grabbed his hand. "He'll understand." I stood up and ran a hand through my hair "I'll be back. Hopefully he'll be awake by this evening." As I turned to walk out the door Dean grabbed my arm. "I can't let you do this Spencer. I won't let you." I smiled sadly and cupped his cheek. "It'll be okay. I promise. But you have to let me go. You have to let me do this Dean." He shook his head. "No, I can't." I let my arms fall to my side and took a step back. "I'm sorry but I have to do this."

With a _whoosh_ I vanished and left the brothers to wait.

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**Let me know what you think! :) Is this story a lost cause or should I continue? **


	4. Chapter 4

I teleported to Bobby's even though Edgar had burned down the house almost 2 years ago. I still visited occasionally just because I didn't want to forget Bobby and everything he had done for me. When I showed up here I was 19 and I had just lost my mother. I had visited Bobby a few times before and I knew that he was my mothers brother but that's about it. After my mother died I drove straight here half out of my mind with the grief. Bobby had taken me in and cared for me without bating an eye.

He had given me a job fixing up and working on the cars that came in and I enjoyed it. It would help get my mind off everything for awhile and for that I was grateful. He tried to get me away from hunting by helping me get my GED and a year later putting me into a small community college where I majored in psych and minored in Greek mythology.

The first 2 years of civilian life were good. I had been hunting my entire life and the change of pace was nice and I had more time to spend with Gabe and Cas. I had my shot to be normal for once in my life. Of course during breaks I would help Bobby run phones and do research but he wouldn't let me go back on an actual hunt.

On the 3rd year I started working my way back in. I went on simple salt and burns and sometimes there would be a werewolf or vampire that needed to be taken care of. Bobby didn't approve but I just had to get back in. By the 4th year I was hunting every opportunity I had. Sometimes I would be gone on the weekends and I would swing back by Bobby's long enough to take a shower and change clothes before heading off to my classes Monday morning.

The 5th year I graduated college and met the Winchesters.

I looked around at the old cars and what remained of his house and sighed. Bobby's always meant safety to me and even though he's gone just being here makes me feel safe because Bobby's means good memories and sometimes I need the reminder that there can be good in this life even if it doesn't last forever.

That's not the only reason I came here though. I could feel the angels around, waiting for me to come back so they could strike. I could feel them inching closer and closer and screaming my location to any angel that was listening. "Come and get me you sons of bitches! I'm here! What are you waiting for?" They were practically here now, the air humming with energy, then they stopped. With a flap of wings 1 lone angels appeared in front of me and I recognized her right away as the woman I had seen in one of the images Cas had shown me.

"Spencer McCrea. Good to finally meet you in person." She walked forward and held out her hand. I stared at her for a moment before scoffing. "Please, I'd rather shake hands with the devil himself." She drew her had back with a look of disappointment. "I'm-" "Naomi. Yes, I know this already. Your head of intelligence in heaven supposedly getting your commands from a higher-ranking angel. You're also the one who has been telling all of the angels to track me down and kill me and you must be the one who has Castiel' s grace." She looked at me with so many emotions crossing her features at once I had to wonder just how much of an angel she really was.

"You have no idea do you?" I tilted my head to the side in confusion. "You have no idea what you are or how powerful you are do you?" I shook my head. "No one ever told me." The corners of her mouth curled up into a small smile. "Spencer your mistaken. I never sent anyone to kill you, that was all Michael and Raphael's doing and Lucifer was trying to _protect _you not harm you." I scoffed again but it came out half-heatedly because she did have a point. Lucifer never did try to harm me but Michael and Raphael had tried repeatedly.

"What are you trying to say Naomi?" "We need you in heaven Spencer. The demons are trying to kill you for your power and they wont stop. I will admit there have been a few angels who were lead astray by Raphael and Michael but the threat is dying out." I put my hands on top of my head trying to make sense of everything. It was a lie. It had to be. Angel radio had fell completely silent since her appearance and they were probably all waiting for the go-ahead command to kill me. There's no way she could be telling the truth. Right? I mean it was impossible. But she did have a point. Angel attacks were becoming less and less frequent.

"Who the hell is my father?" Her eyes lit up with excitement, an emotion which I thought was impossible for angels to possess, and she said, "God. God is your father Spencer."

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